New Yo Mama Jokes

Yo mama Jokes

YO MAMA SO OLD 

she walked into an antique store and they kept her.

when she reads the bible she reminisces.

I told her to act her own age, and the bitch died.

she was a waitress at the last supper.

her memory is in black and white.

she has a picture of Jesus in her yearbook.

she's got hieroglyphics on her driver's license.

when Moses split the red sea, she was on the other side fishing.

she used to baby-sit Jesus.

when she was young rainbows were black and white.

she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.

when god said "let there be light" she was there to flick the switch.

when she was born, the Dead Sea was just getting sick.

she baby-sat for Jesus.

she has an autographed bible.

the key on Ben Franklin's kite was to her apartment.

her birthday expired.

she's in Jesus's yearbook!

she ran track with dinosaurs.

she has Adam & Eve's autographs.

she has a Jesus Starter jacket.

I told her to act her age and the bitch died.

her birth certificate is in Roman numerals.

she used to baby-sit Yoda.

she owes Moses a quarter.

she squirts powdered milk out her nipples.

her social security number is 1.

she owes Fred Flintstone a food stamp.

Jurassic Park brought back memories.

she co-wrote the ten commandments.

she has Jesus' beeper number!

when she was in school there was no history class.

she owes Jesus a nickel.

she knew the Beetles when they were the New Kids on the Block.

and stupid she knew the Virgin Mary when she was 10 and said, "Li'l Mary will never amount to anything".

she sat next to Jesus in third grade.

her birth-certificate expired.

she owes Jesus 3 bucks!

she planted the first tree at Central Park.

she watches PBS.

she sat behind Jesus in the third grade.

her birth certificate says expired on it.



she drove a chariot to high school.

she farts out mummy dust.

the candles cost more than the birthday cake.

that when God said let the be light, she hit the switch'

she has all the apostles in her black book.

when God said "Let their be light", she flipped the switch.

she's got Jesus' beeper number.

she took her drivers test on a dinosaur.

she was a waitress at the Last Supper.

she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.

Yo Mama Jokes New Hilarious

Yo mama's got more weave than a dog in traffic.

Yo mama's armpits are so hairy, it looks like she's got Buckwheat in a headlock.

Yo mama is so bald, even a wig wouldn't help her.

Yo mama's teeth are so yellow, she can butter an entire loaf of bread with them.

Yo mama is so hairy, she got a haircut and lost 10 pounds.

Yo mama's hair is so nappy, she uses a rake to comb it.

Yo mama is so dirty, I was walking down the street with Yo Mama and when shooting started, someone yelled "Hit the dirt!" and everyone jumped on Yo Mama's back!

Yo mama's head is so big, she doesn't have dreams, she has movies.

Yo mama's head is so small, she got her ear pierced and died.

Yo mama's is so wrinkled, she has to screw her hat on.

Yo mama is so hairy, she looks like a Chia Pet with an afro.

Yo mama's nose is so big, she makes Pinocchio look like a cat.

Yo mama's got so much wax in her ears, I stuck a Q-Tip in and pulled out a Sugar Daddy.

Yo mama's gums are so black, she spits Yoo-Hoo.

Yo mama's breath is so bad, we didn't know if she needed a breath mint or toilet paper.

Yo mama is so bald, if she wears a turtleneck, she looks like a busted c*ndom.

Yo mama's teeth are so yellow, when she smiles, traffic slows down.

Yo mama's got so many teeth missing, it looks like her tongue is in jail.

Yo mama's teeth are so rotten, when she smiles, it looks like dice.

Yo mama's teeth are so ugly, she got pulled over for not having dental insurance.

Yo mama's head is so big, she has to step into her shirts.

Yo mama's got so much dirt under her armpits, she grows potatoes there.

Yo mama's arms are so short, she has to tilt her head to scratch her ear.

Yo mama's so flat, the wall is jealous.

Yo mama's ass is so big, she has to crap in the dumpster.

Yo mama's hips are so big, people set their drinks on them.

Yo mama's legs are so white, they'd disintegrate Dracula.

Yo mama's feet are so nasty, when she wants jam, she runs a loaf of bread between her toes.

Yo mama is so hairy, Bigfoot took her picture.

Yo mama is so dirty, kids eat her instead of mud.

Yo mama is so greasy, she uses bacon as a band-aid.

Yo mama's house is so dirty, she has to wipe her feet before going outside.

Yo mama's house is so small, when she orders a large pizza, she has to go outside to eat it.

Yo mama is so cheap, instead of buying a fire alarm, she hangs Jiffy Pop from the ceiling.

Yo mama is so hairy, she shaves with a weedwacker.

Yo mama is so easy that when she heard Santa Claus say "Ho Ho Ho", she thought she was getting it three times.

Yo mama is so stank, even dogs won't sniff her cr*tch.

Yo mama is so lazy, she thinks a two-income family is where yo Daddy has two jobs.

Yo mama is so grouchy, the McDonalds where she works quit serving Happy Meals.

Yo mama is so bad, when she was called for jury duty, she was found guilty.

Yo mama's glasses are so thick, when she looks at the map, she can see people waving.

Yo mama's drawers are so funky, the roaches check in...but they don't check out.

Yo mama's house is so small, I put my key in the lock and stabbed everyone inside.

Yo mama's house is so dirty, the cockroaches drive around in dune buggies.

Yo mama's house has roaches so big, the termites have to carry switchblades.

Yo mama's car is ugly, someone broke in just to steal the CLUB.

Yo mama talks on the phone so much, I dialed the wrong number and IT was busy!

Yo mama referees bar fights without a shirt on.

Whoever said "No man is an island" never saw yo mama in the swimming pool.

I could have been yo Daddy, but the dog beat me under the fence.

Tell yo mama that I'm not coming over any more until she pays me for shaving her back!

Yo Mama Jokes

yo mama so fat see could not see her feet.
yo mama so fat when she stepped on a scale she couldn't see the numbers.
yo mama so ugly she makes Freddy Cougar look like Beyonce!
yo moma so ugly they don't even have to use guns in the army cause they can use yo mama's picture!
yo mama so dark she was trying to eat a tootsie roll, she ate her finger.
Yo mama like a bowling ball she gets fingered thrown in the gutter and still comes back for more.
yo mamas so fat the most hightech scale couldn't calculate her weight.
yo mamas breath is so stank i look forward to her FARTS.
yo momma is so fat she uses 3 houses!
your mamma so stupid she threw a rock a t the floor and missed.
yo mommas so fat,she dont wear daisy dukes,she wears boss hoggs.
yo mommas so stupid, she took toilet paper to a crap game.
yo mommas so ugly, she turned medusa to stone.

New Yo Momma Jokes

Yo mamma so ugly the dumpster wouldn't even let her in.
Yo mamma so stupid, when the police asked her who killed her mother she looked in the mirror and said she did it.
yo mamma is so stupid she thougt the tire on a bus were chocolate dounats.
Yo mamma is so stupid that she went to the gap to get her teeth fixed.
Yo mamma is so fat that you have to grease the doorways and dangle a twinkie on the other side to get her through.
Yo mamma is so ugly that when she lies on a beach cats bury her in the sand.
yo mamma is so slow that you asked her if she know any thing, she was speechless.
yo mamma so stupid she tried to wake up a sleeping bag.
yo mamma so stupid she stole a free sample of bread.

Yo Momma So Greasy

Yo mama so greasy she used bacon as a band-aid!

Yo mama so greasy she sweats Crisco!

Yo mama so greasy Texaco buys Oil from her

Yo mama so greasy her freckles slipped off.

Yo mama so greasy the Chip Shop uses her sweat as Deep Fry

Yo mama so greasy she sweats butter, syrup, excretes jam...and has a full time job at the 'Pancake Palace' wiping pancakes across her forheed

Yo mama so greasy her idea of bottled water is the left over oil slime from a bacon, sausage and egg fry up.

YO MAMA SO POOR

Yo momma so poor, she bounces food stamps!!

Yo momma so poor, she can't afford to live in a two story Cheerio box!

Yo momma so poor she can't afford to pay attention!

Yo momma so poor when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush!

Yo momma so poor she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway.

Yo momma so poor your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.

Yo momma so poor burglars break in her house and leave money.

Yo Momma so poor she can't afford the o or the r.

Yo Momma so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Moving."

Yo Momma so poor she can't afford to pay attention!

Yo Momma so poor when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush!

Yo Momma so poor when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers!!!

Yo Momma so poor when I ring the doorbell she says,"DING!"

Yo Momma so poor she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway.

Yo Momma so poor your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.

Yo Momma so poor her face is on the front of a food stamp.

Yo Momma is so poor when she heard about the last supper she thought she had ran out of food stamps.

Yo Momma so poor she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, "What ya doin'?" She said, "Buying luggage."

Yo Momma so poor she drives a peanut.

Yo Momma so poor she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning.

Yo Momma so poor burglars break in her house and leave money.

Yo Momma so poor you go out for sunday pushes of the skateboard Do you know the story about the little old woman that lives in a shoe?

Well, Yo mama so poor she live in a flip flop!

Yo Momma so poor she does drive by shootings on the bus.

Yo Momma so poor you put RoundUp on the weeds and she said, "There goes breakfast, lunch, and dinner!"

Yo Momma so poor you asked her where the facilities were, and she said, "Pick a corner, any corner."

Yo Momma so poor I walked into your house and 3 roaches tripped me & tried to take my wallet! 

Yo mama Jokes - 5

Yo mama so poor, she chases the garbage truck with a grocery list. 

Yo mama so stupid, she tried to put m'ms in alphabetical order. 

Yo mama so fat, she makes free willy look like a tic-tac. 

Yo mama so fat, when god said, "Let there be light!" she had to move over. 

Yo mama is like a shotgun, one c**k, she blows. 

Yo mama is like a meat locker, everyone stores meat in her. 

Yo mama is like an Xbox, she gets turned on by little kids. 

Yo mama so stupid, she has to study for a drug test. 

Yo mama so fat,, the last time she saw 90210 was on the weight scale. 

Yo mama so fat, when she saw a bus full of white people, she yelled, "Stop that twinkie!!!" 

Yo mama so hairy whenever she pulls her pants down they play "welcome to the jungle".