Yo mama Jokes - 5

Yo mama so poor, she chases the garbage truck with a grocery list. 

Yo mama so stupid, she tried to put m'ms in alphabetical order. 

Yo mama so fat, she makes free willy look like a tic-tac. 

Yo mama so fat, when god said, "Let there be light!" she had to move over. 

Yo mama is like a shotgun, one c**k, she blows. 

Yo mama is like a meat locker, everyone stores meat in her. 

Yo mama is like an Xbox, she gets turned on by little kids. 

Yo mama so stupid, she has to study for a drug test. 

Yo mama so fat,, the last time she saw 90210 was on the weight scale. 

Yo mama so fat, when she saw a bus full of white people, she yelled, "Stop that twinkie!!!" 

Yo mama so hairy whenever she pulls her pants down they play "welcome to the jungle". 

Yo Mama Jokes - 4

Yo momma is so fat, she saw a school bus full of white kids and yelled, "stop that twinkie!" 

Yo momma so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said, "Sorry, No Professionals." 

Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning. 

Yo momma so ugly just after she was born, her doctor said, "What a treasure!" and her father said, "Yes, let's go bury it." 

Yo momma so ugly they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars. 

Yo momma so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween. 

Yo momma so ugly her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her. 

Yo momma so ugly she made an onion cry. 

Yo momma so ugly she is very successful at her job: Being a scarecrow. 

Yo momma so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound. 

Yo momma so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies. 

Yo momma so ugly they filmed, "Gorillas in the Mist," in her shower. 

Yo momma so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillance cameras. 

Yo momma so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her. 

Yo momma so ugly when she walks down the street in September, people say ,"Damn, is it Halloween already?" 

Yo momma so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday. 

Yo momma so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects. 

Yo momma so ugly they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints. 

Yo momma so ugly when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours...for a quote! 

Yo momma so ugly she tried to take a bath the water jumped out! 

Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and gets arrested! 

Yo momma so ugly even Rice Krispies won't talk to her! 

Yo momma so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats through the phone! 

Yo momma so ugly the psychiatrist makes her lie facedown. 

Yo momma so ugly she turned Medusa to stone! 

Yo Mama Jokes -2

Yo momma so poor burglars break in her house and leave money. 

Yo momma so poor she can't afford the o or the r. 

Yo momma so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, and she said, "Moving." 

Yo momma so poor when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers! 

Yo momma so poor when I ring the doorbell she says, "DING!" 

Yo momma so poor her face is on the front of a food stamp. 

Yo momma is so poor when she heard about the last supper she thought she had ran out of food stamps. 

Yo momma so poor she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, "What ya doin'?" She said, "Buying luggage." 

Yo momma so poor she drives a peanut. 

Yo momma so poor she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning. 

Yo momma so poor she does drive by shootings on the bus. 

Yo momma so poor you put roundup on the weeds and she said, "There goes breakfast, lunch, and dinner!" 

Yo momma so poor you asked her where the facilities were, and she said, "Pick a corner, any corner." 

Yo mommas teeth are so yellow, traffic slows down when she smiles! 

New Yo Momma Jokes - 1

Yo momma so poor I walked into your house and 3 roaches tripped me & tried to take my wallet! 

Do you know the story about the little old woman that lives in a shoe? Well, Yo momma so poor she live in a flip flop! 

Yo momma like a shot gun, two cocks and she blows! 

Yo momma like Domino's pizza -- Something for nothing. 

Yo momma like spoiled milk, fat and chunky! 

Yo momma like cake mix, 15 servings per package! 

Yo momma like a bowling ball: She's picked up, fingered, and thrown in the gutter. 

Yo momma like a Toyota: "Oh what a feelin'!" 

Yo momma like Orange Crush: "Good Vibrations!" 

Yo momma like a hockey team...changes her pads every three periods! 

Yo momma like Chinese food: sweet, sour and cheap! 

Yo momma is like a racing car...chick burned four rubbers in one night. 

Yo momma like castlebury stew: servings are family size. 

Funny Yo Mama Jokes

Yo mama is so stupid, she washed the chicken and ate the plate. 

Yo mama is so old, when she went into an antique store, they kept her. 

Yo mama is so fat, she got stuck, when she fell off GRAND CANYON. 

Yo mama is so stupid, when I slap her back, her tits fell off. 

Yo mama is so big, when she wears a red T-Shirt and goes out for a jog at the highway, cars a mile away stopped.

Anything Yo s - So Fat

Yo Mama Jokes - 2

Yo Grannie so damn fat, that if she was an Aeroplane, she'd be a Jumbo Jet.

Yo Grandpa so fat that he's half Scottish, half Irish and half American

Yo Wife so fat she fell off a boat and the Captain yelled, "Land Ahoy!!!"

Yo Priest so fat, when he bungee jumped he went straight to hell...

Yo Doctor so fat, that when her Beeper goes off folk think she's backing up.

Yo Auntie so fat when she goes to Gap the only thing she can fit into is the Dressing Room

Yo Bookie so fat he gotta buy clothes by the furlon

Yo Dentist so fat that when he burped he blew out all yo mamma's teeth...that why she so ugly!

Yo Papa's so large when you climb on top of him your ears pop.

Yo Father so fat that when he sat on a Rainbow skittles fell out.

Yo Sister so fat that even Richard Simmons can't help laughing

Yo Sis so Monstrous she uses Soccer balls for earrings.

Yo Father so fat he can't even tie his own shoelaces

Yo Mama so huge that God created her...and on the seventh day rested.

Your Kid Sister so fat the Japanese Sumo Wrestling squad had to turn her down.

Yo Star Trek fan so fat he make Riker's beer belly look 2 atoms thick

Yo Lawyer's so fat...we're inside her right now.

Yo' Baker so freakin fat he masturbates when reading cookbooks

Yo Auntie so fat that Weight Watchers threw her out for breaking the scales.

Yo Boss so fat that when she calls a board meeting she has to pull herself up a Sofa.

Yo Air hostess so fat that on a scale of 1 to 10 she a 747.

Your boyfriend so fat he hasn't seen his feet for 10 years

Yo Bro so fat that when he farted, Mars came out...and I ain't talkin bout the 'sweetie'

You Nana so fat that when she went for a swim in the ocean she caused a 60 foot tidal wave.

Yo Music teacher so freakin Fat that she whistles Bass

Yo Postman so fat he got his very own Post Code

You cousin so fat she's on Both sides of the family.

Yo Girlfriend so fat I ask her to go get a Curry and she bring back 80 pounds of gravy.

Yo kid brother so fat he sat on 4 quarters and made a dollar.

Your Mom so fat she uses a bed mattress for a maxipad

Yo wife so fat she got more nooks and Crannies than a Ploughman's pastry

Yo Sister so fat she got a new job DJ'ing for the Ice Cream Van.

Yo Momma so fat all chairs in the house have their own seatbelts.

Yo Dog so fat that when you take it 'walkies' it don't know whether it walking or rolling

Your Mommas so fat, when it says All you can eat it still ain't enough.

Yo' Astronomer so fat she plays pool with Venus....and Neptune...and pluto...and...

Your Mama So Fat

 Your Mama So Fat - Yo Mama Jokes

when she step on the Weight Scales it says...'to be continued'...

she once went on a seafood diet...whenever she saw food she ate it!

folk exercise by jogging around her!

when she bends over, we enter Daylight Saving Time.

she sat on a Nintendo Gamecube and it turned into a gameboy

she make Kiko the Whale look like a Smartie

NASA plan to use her to shore up the hole in the Ozone layer

she was measured at 38-26-36 and that was just the left arm...

small objects orbit her.

she make olympic sumo wrestlers look anerixic.

when I tell her to haul ass, she gotta make two trips.

when she farted she launched herself into orbit.

she lost a game at Hide&Seek only cos I spotted her...behind Mount Everest.

when I had to swerve to avoid hitting her on the road I ran out of Petrol!

she could be the eighth continent.

she nearly put Safeway out of business

the only thing that's attracted to her is gravity.

her Uni graduation photo was an aerial

when she auditioned for a part in Raiders of the Lost Ark she got the part of the big Rolling Ball.

she make Jabba the Hutt look anorexic.

her fave food is seconds.

her belt size is Equator.

she eats Desert out of a Trash Can lid

she wears an 'X' jacket and Copters attempt to land on her

she shows up on radar.

she needs a map to find her butt.

she fell into the Grand Canyon....and got stuck!

she wears an asteroid belt.

her Passport photo says 'Picture is continued overleaf'

she has TB ... 2 bellys.

she's once, twice, three times a lady.

she was in the Daily Record last week on page 5, 6, 7, 8, and 9.

the circus use her as a trampoline

stunt agencies use her as an air mattress

when she opens the Fridge it says - 'I give up...'

she got a new gig at the Cinema...she works as the screen

she once told me 'I could eat a horse'...believe me, she wasn't kidding!

she deep fries her toothpaste.